Another Peak in the journey called Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (M.E.)

Ya-Who, my cousin Lisa is starting to walk several blocks a day with her cane, and she is getting stronger every day, which is a good thing for me, because my M.E. is starting to let me know that I need to slow down. We have a 4th of July event coming up, and we need to make some more jewelry and soaps for it. We have a new mold, which we are sure the people here will like, as it is a bunny waving around a hockey stick. We are going to hand-paint the Alaska team colors ....should be really cute, and is as big as our Florida gator soaps. We also have some moose and bear molds to make up, and some firemen molds (for my son, the volunteer fireman)

I will have to rest a bit as I have been doing all the housework and heavy work for months now. The M.E. has reared up, and I am only sleeping in 2 hr intervals. I have noticed that the muscle pain just will not let up, and the head-aches have come back. I do have the strangest symptoms, as the lower half of my body gets very cold while the top half gets hot. I take about 10 baths a day for the lower half, and it is just starting to warm up here so I haven't had much of a problem with the upper half of my body. I am so thankful that I moved to Alaska, as it will not get much hotter than it is now, which for me will be good. Lisa is a Florida gal, however, and she sometimes misses the heat.

The plus side is that now I don't have to explain anything to anybody. I don't have to justify staying in bed if I need to. I don't have to apologize if I have to cancel on something I had agreed to do. This has been a great help in reducing the stress of this illness. I am hoping to build up enough energy after the craft fair to go traveling, and you know I will post pics!

I have added a following button to the site, although I am sure I am just talking to myself. Lisa gets a kick out of listening to me talking and answering myself...she just laughs and laughs.

I will post a pic of our little bunny hockey player soaps when we get them made and painted on the blog, and list them in the store.

CFIDS is NOT the Captain of My Ship Anymore

For twenty five years I have dealt with Chronic Fatigue Immune Dsyfunction Syndrome, and for most of that time, it has tossed me this way and that, regardless of where I wanted to go. At least, that's what I thought...I thought I had no control over this disease that had taken control of my life.

However, a lot has changed since I first became ill. Good news is that I no longer deal with issues such as a fluttering heart beat, or my heart stopping for a beat; no longer have nights sweats. My blood pressure no longer drops all a sudden, sending me into a shivering mess.

My organs no longer get so cold I could tell you where each of them was, because they felt like blocks of ice inside my body. I no longer feel as if my head is going to drop off my neck. When I tell my eyes to open they do. When I tell myself to get out of bed, I can.

Two summers ago, I had managed to swim 100 laps in the pool a day. Did I do it all at once? No. I swam first 5 laps, then increased it till I could do 20 laps. Then I did 20 laps 5 time a day.

Last summer, I managed the 6000 mile trip from Fla to Alaska, then managed to get moved into a place here in Seward. I don't know anyone in Seward, and only one friend in Anchorage.

I planned this trip 8 years ago. Took me a while, but I got here.

I had to give up a lot of things to get to the place I am at now. First, my views on spirituality. I was raised a Mormon, and have 300 relatives who are Mormons. I had many blessings from Mormons for this illness. Didn't help. In fact, for me, I had to explore alternative spiritual practices in order to not succumb to the despair and depression caused by this illness. I explored a lot of things, including crystals and stones,
and Native American spiritual practices, (which I really like).

I gave up doctors also. Ten years ago a doctor told me I would be dead within the year. Last time I went to a doctor. Now I listen to my body; when it tells me to rest, I rest. If I don't want to do something, I don't. Unless it's really important to me to do, and then I accept the consequences of pushing past my limits. I know that I will be in bed until I replace the extra energy used. I've learned not to whine about my inability to do what other people can do. I do what I can do, and that's enough for me.

Crystals and stones really worked for me somehow. I was a real hard core case against these very objects when well, but one of my friends gave me one as I lay there in my bed.
I would stare at it, and it was like it gave me energy to focus my thoughts somehow. Crystals led me into a whole new area that I never would have explored had I been well. My mind was just too closed.

And this may sound strange, but somehow I am grateful for the path that CFIDS has led me to. I used to have no patience for sick people...I do now! I found that I could make some really beautiful things using crystals and stones, and it felt good while I was doing it. I could do it in bed if I needed too. I would never have found this talent for creating jewelry, had I not gotten sick. I am an Aries, we don't like to sit still...we like to be doing anything physical. I have found that I have other talents I never would have found otherwise.

And frankly, I've met some truly wonderful people on this part of my journey that I never would have met had I not had this illness. Call me a sucker, but I am grateful for that.

I like my life. No, I don't do everything the way that I did them before. But I still get whatever job I decide to tackle...I get it done. Maybe not as fast as other people. I do get it done my way tho.

Here comes the photos promised of the Seward for Tourists

The sun is shining and Lisa and I got out and took more pics. We mainly took pics of the things that tourists do in Seward, because we had already sent photos of the "real Seward". There were a few pics of the real Seward that we didn't get, such as the hospital, which we should have included so as to assure Lisa's family members that we have all the ameneties of a real town, but we forgot to take a pic of the hospital.
We also did not take a pic of our favorite restaurant...for a reason. You can smoke in the restaurant. We are not including the name as we fear the "Nazi" non-smokers will get their butts in an uproar and try to change it. Non-smokers are politely informed that this restaurant is a smoking establishment, and whining about the smoking is not permitted.
If a non-smoker insists on whining, they are given a list of non-smoking restaurants in the area and politely shown the door. A friend and I were discussing the smoking situation and we are sure the government is going to try to make smoking illegal. Now, the government tried to this with drinking, and look how far that got them. But they just might pull off making smoking illegal.
So what would be next...maybe fat people would be illegal. But how would you regulate that? My friend came up with this suggestion...the government could put scales at all restaurants, and if you weighed more than a determined amount, you would either be prohibited from buying certain foods, or paying more for foods not on your recommended diet list. (I think the government would like this option, as they do seem to like to profit from the weakness of others). If all fails, the third strike rule could be used against the overweight person, and they could end up in jail. And who is the government? Oh yeah, we are. We elect these people. The government is a reflection of our people as a society.

That's why I like Alaska. It is a third the size of the United States, and there are still many places in the state not controlled by the "government". The people of the town rules what happens. And you can always find a town which resonates with you.

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Spring is Almost Here and Lisa's Out of The House!

Spring is almost here, and yes, Lisa's out of the house. Since everyone is asking for pics of our town, we went around and took some. This trip just includes pics of the real Seward, and the next trip will be of the tourist Seward.

We took a pic of the view from our living window, then headed down Third St. where we took a pic of the bus station Lisa had to use when coming back from Anchorage when she broke her leg. Then we headed down to the SeaLife Center, and this is where Jackie's going to get a job when she comes here. The work is right up her alley, as Jackie loves all animals, and here is where she gets the opportunity to work with them.

Then we headed over to the ocean where I took a pic of Lisa on her first day outside with her cane. She looks kinda lopsided! But she is walking. And pretty soon she won't be a "newbie" anymore. She will have survived her first Alaskan winter!

We took pics of the ocean and mountains, and then headed down main street. Got a pic of the library and post office, but the batteries ran out when we tried to take a pic of City Hall. City Hall houses everything...the police dept, the motor vehicles dept., the utilities dept.

The days are getting longer now...sun comes up at 8:00 am and goes down 8:00 pm. The local Safeway store (which carries a little bit of everything) stays open from 5:00 am till midnight.

We're getting our jewelry ready for the 4th of July festival here, and so we are busy. 50 thousand or more people come to this festival, so we're making lots of stuff. We even got a sold mold of a hockey player with his stick (they are really big on hockey here)....we plan on using the teams colors on his uniform...should be cute. We'll post it on our store's website when we get it finished.

We're doing pretty well for a woman with a broken leg, and a woman unable to stay out of bed!

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I'll post the rest of the photos on the facebook page....

We love you, we miss you

The Bear Festival is coming next weekend!

Everyone thinks that Lisa and I are crazy for coming to Alaska, but we do seem to fit right in here!! Next weekend Seward is hosting the Bear Festival, where people come from all over Alaska to jump into the ocean! Now, I think that's a little unhinged, as it as gotten down to below zero here in the last two weeks! Seward puts on all kinds of activities for that weekend, but, from what I understand, only a few people can get close enough to see those poor souls who jump into the ocean. I will not be doing that, although it might be good for the circulation!!
I have found a way other than really hot baths to get rid of that pain in my hips which was caused when I walked several miles in the heat before we left Florida. I started using a heating pad on the imflamed areas, and no more pain. Now, whenever I have to do any carrying and those areas get inflamed, a few hours with the heating pad takes the pain away. Good news for me, as Lisa still cannot walk without a walker, and therefore, can't help with any of the carrying of groceries.
We are going to Anchorage this week to finish cleaning out the storage unit. Well, I am going to clean out the storage unit, and Lisa is going to watch. She is so tired of sitting in the apartment. I told her that I will only take her if I do not have to listen to her bitch about not being able to help. She can't do anything about it, so there is no sense in making both of us miserable over it. We'll stay the night, as I broke my regular glasses, and it gets dark here too fast for us to make it there and back with me wearing my prescription sun glasses. She cannot drive either, and doing everything at my pace is another thing driving her crazy. I cannot go any faster than my energy allows, and she can't help, so she's really suffering.
She's also learning which friends are really friends, and which ones never were. A hard lesson to learn sometimes, but necessary for spiritual development.
I have been thinking of my dad a lot these last couple of months, and cannot seem to get out of my head his last few months. It is hard to look at someone whom you have always seen as strong, whittled down to a person who died without dignity. I couldn't get him out of bed to dress him and take him down to the river he loved so much. I just wasn't strong enough. While I could manage to keep him clean and dry, and without bed-sores, and I could feed him, and give him his insulin (although my stomach hurt all day dreading the time when I had to give him his shot,) I couldn't take him to the places he loved, or to see people that he cared about. It still really upsets me that, after all my dad did for the people of his church, he got very few visitors in the year he was bed-ridden. He did have one member of his church, who came over and sat with occasionally, and she even got him dressed and took him to church, just before he died. It was more than I could do, I couldn't even get him out of bed, and even if I had gotten him out of bed, I didn't have a vehicle to take him anywhere. So he had to lay there, day in and day out. I try to tell Lisa, when she gets so upset that she can't do what she wants to do, that this situation is only temporary, and that she should be grateful for that. I don't know that she is understanding that however.
One of the ladies here said maybe we came here to heal emotionally, and maybe that is true. Lisa is learning to slow down and listen to her body more, and cannot use activity to ignore or hide from pain. I will surely be thankful for the day she will be back on her feet, as I am getting tired.

It's A Brand New Year!!

Well, we have made it to another year! I remember, 10 years ago, a doctor telling me I wouldn't last out the year....I was a walking time bomb. And yet, here I am 10 years later. I believe that we get whatever it is we believe we are going to get, and since I never had a doctor I believed, their predictions for me never came true.
When Lisa and I tell people we came to Alaska to heal, they always ask us how we are going to do that. We're going to heal because we believe we are going to heal. Already Lisa is learning the lesson I have already learned, and that is how to slow down and listen to what her body is telling her. The fresh air, while cold, is extremely healing, as is staying away from toxic situations and people.
We're both using the crystals, and cleansing our indoor environment. We take our vitamins.
The new year is always good for setting those resolutions to change, and this year we are setting our course on keeping out of toxic situations, and away from toxic people. Letting go of expectations of the way others should or should not act is a goal we will be striving toward. We can only control what we can do , and stay away from those who would be harmful to our health. While it means letting go of some friends, and sometimes family, this new year is one in which we are going to concentrate on ourselves and our health.
We'll drink herbal tea, breathe in the fresh air and beautiful scenery, and speaking frankly, just love ourselves. Happy New to Year to you all

The New Year is Almost Here!!

I for one, am looking forward to the new year. This last year has been full of exciting changes, but people here in Alaska ask us the same things that people all across the country have asked us. Why did we move to Alaska? When we tell them that we moved here to Alaska to heal, every single person has looked at us like we are crazy. And maybe we are, but if we are, we fit right in with these people.
After our mad dash across the United States, which still took us 26 days, we spent a couple of weeks in Anchorage resting up from the trip. I had wanted to make it a leisurely trip across the US and Canada, getting to know people who lived in different places, and because we my CFIDS condition, it would have been easier to me to do. However, Lisa was hell-bent on getting here, no matter what the cost, so when we finally arrived, we were both exhausted. Most people don't realize that a for a person with my condition, sitting in the passenger seat is MORE exhausting than doing the actual driving, but Lisa, like most people, thought that if she did all the driving, it would be easier on me.
And because she did all the driving, she was as exhausted as I was when we arrived. Because she was so exhausted, and less than 24 hours after we arrived, she made a mistake that is still costing us to this day.
She is still learning that mistakes made here in Alaska will have long-reaching consequences here. She will never again make the mistake of wearing tennis shoes while walking on sheer ice, as that mistake cost her a broken leg. She now understands how very tired I get just doing ordinary things, as she gets that tired just going to the bathroom. While she never understood (as most people don't)not to push me to do more than I can, or to do it for me when I don't do something as fast as she would like, she now knows how it feels to be unable to move any quicker, or how guilty one feels when unable to do something on someone else's timetable.
Our landlord came over the other day, and when I explained the reason for taking so long to answer the door was because I was sleeping, she said to me "you're always sleeping".
Yes, I am. So is Lisa. We sleep when we're tired, and get up when we are not. Sometimes we sleep all day, and stay up all night. We eat the right foods, and since Lisa cannot go anywhere, we stay mostly to ourselves. I have taken a couple of trips to Anchorage to bring down some of our stuff in storage. I still have a couple of trips left before I have emptied out that storage unit. It's taking a while because I have limited energy, and cannot pull our scottie through the mountains in the snow, and the truck is not big enough to haul all of our stuff! (I don't know how we managed to get all that stuff here!!) Would Lisa do it alone if I was unable to get out of bed and help her? Yes she would, in a heartbeat. We make a good team, my cousin and I. What one can't do, the other can. So will we reach the goals we have set for ourselves? YES WE WILL. We plan on healing, and then finding that bed and breakfast where we can offer to others a place to heal. This is our goal. So while we will miss our friends and loved ones, we hope that you understand that we have a plan. We love you, we miss you.

Happy New Year to you all
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