CFIDS is NOT the Captain of My Ship Anymore

For twenty five years I have dealt with Chronic Fatigue Immune Dsyfunction Syndrome, and for most of that time, it has tossed me this way and that, regardless of where I wanted to go. At least, that's what I thought...I thought I had no control over this disease that had taken control of my life.

However, a lot has changed since I first became ill. Good news is that I no longer deal with issues such as a fluttering heart beat, or my heart stopping for a beat; no longer have nights sweats. My blood pressure no longer drops all a sudden, sending me into a shivering mess.

My organs no longer get so cold I could tell you where each of them was, because they felt like blocks of ice inside my body. I no longer feel as if my head is going to drop off my neck. When I tell my eyes to open they do. When I tell myself to get out of bed, I can.

Two summers ago, I had managed to swim 100 laps in the pool a day. Did I do it all at once? No. I swam first 5 laps, then increased it till I could do 20 laps. Then I did 20 laps 5 time a day.

Last summer, I managed the 6000 mile trip from Fla to Alaska, then managed to get moved into a place here in Seward. I don't know anyone in Seward, and only one friend in Anchorage.

I planned this trip 8 years ago. Took me a while, but I got here.

I had to give up a lot of things to get to the place I am at now. First, my views on spirituality. I was raised a Mormon, and have 300 relatives who are Mormons. I had many blessings from Mormons for this illness. Didn't help. In fact, for me, I had to explore alternative spiritual practices in order to not succumb to the despair and depression caused by this illness. I explored a lot of things, including crystals and stones,
and Native American spiritual practices, (which I really like).

I gave up doctors also. Ten years ago a doctor told me I would be dead within the year. Last time I went to a doctor. Now I listen to my body; when it tells me to rest, I rest. If I don't want to do something, I don't. Unless it's really important to me to do, and then I accept the consequences of pushing past my limits. I know that I will be in bed until I replace the extra energy used. I've learned not to whine about my inability to do what other people can do. I do what I can do, and that's enough for me.

Crystals and stones really worked for me somehow. I was a real hard core case against these very objects when well, but one of my friends gave me one as I lay there in my bed.
I would stare at it, and it was like it gave me energy to focus my thoughts somehow. Crystals led me into a whole new area that I never would have explored had I been well. My mind was just too closed.

And this may sound strange, but somehow I am grateful for the path that CFIDS has led me to. I used to have no patience for sick people...I do now! I found that I could make some really beautiful things using crystals and stones, and it felt good while I was doing it. I could do it in bed if I needed too. I would never have found this talent for creating jewelry, had I not gotten sick. I am an Aries, we don't like to sit still...we like to be doing anything physical. I have found that I have other talents I never would have found otherwise.

And frankly, I've met some truly wonderful people on this part of my journey that I never would have met had I not had this illness. Call me a sucker, but I am grateful for that.

I like my life. No, I don't do everything the way that I did them before. But I still get whatever job I decide to tackle...I get it done. Maybe not as fast as other people. I do get it done my way tho.

Here comes the photos promised of the Seward for Tourists

The sun is shining and Lisa and I got out and took more pics. We mainly took pics of the things that tourists do in Seward, because we had already sent photos of the "real Seward". There were a few pics of the real Seward that we didn't get, such as the hospital, which we should have included so as to assure Lisa's family members that we have all the ameneties of a real town, but we forgot to take a pic of the hospital.
We also did not take a pic of our favorite restaurant...for a reason. You can smoke in the restaurant. We are not including the name as we fear the "Nazi" non-smokers will get their butts in an uproar and try to change it. Non-smokers are politely informed that this restaurant is a smoking establishment, and whining about the smoking is not permitted.
If a non-smoker insists on whining, they are given a list of non-smoking restaurants in the area and politely shown the door. A friend and I were discussing the smoking situation and we are sure the government is going to try to make smoking illegal. Now, the government tried to this with drinking, and look how far that got them. But they just might pull off making smoking illegal.
So what would be next...maybe fat people would be illegal. But how would you regulate that? My friend came up with this suggestion...the government could put scales at all restaurants, and if you weighed more than a determined amount, you would either be prohibited from buying certain foods, or paying more for foods not on your recommended diet list. (I think the government would like this option, as they do seem to like to profit from the weakness of others). If all fails, the third strike rule could be used against the overweight person, and they could end up in jail. And who is the government? Oh yeah, we are. We elect these people. The government is a reflection of our people as a society.

That's why I like Alaska. It is a third the size of the United States, and there are still many places in the state not controlled by the "government". The people of the town rules what happens. And you can always find a town which resonates with you.

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